can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
