it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
