I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
