I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
