Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
