oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize