Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
