Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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