My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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