Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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