And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
