Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
