my mouth tastes like poor choices
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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