i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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