Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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