I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
