I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
