You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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