I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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