ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize