I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
