I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
