I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
