question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
