Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
