Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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