11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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