We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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