If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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