did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
