spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
