If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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