Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
vagina is talking i cant
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
