You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just had sex on a roof
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
