Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
