Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My dick has a subreddit
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
