Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
