Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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