I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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