dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
