The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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