Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
