Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Don't EVER smell your tampon
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
