I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
