why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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