genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize