He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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