so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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