Will you blow on my dice?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he was CRYING into my vagina
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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