Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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