Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
