so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
