I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
