she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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