new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
