I smell stomach acid.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
