You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize