i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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