She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
