I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
