I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
they're like a gay fantastic four
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
