I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
