just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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