Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
