there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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