I will die if light touches me.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
