THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
