yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
