OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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