Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
