I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
