woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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