You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
