Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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