If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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