To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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