just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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