Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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