he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
