idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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