The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize