He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize